Episode 49: Episode 49: Moving Abroad Won’t Fix Your Problems (But It Might Change Them)

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to the Dinoson, where we chronicle the adventures of the Dinoson family, a seemingly ordinary family final who decided, hey, we only live once. So Portugal. And now your hosts, Jason and Tracy Dynaton.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Welcome to another episode of As the Dinasons Turn. This time we wanted to talk about how moving abroad doesn't fix all of your problems. And I think we've experienced that too. It's weird because it kind of has fixed a lot of our problems. But I think that it's also you have to put the work in to fixing your problems. It's not just you move somewhere else and suddenly everything is just better and all of your problems are solved.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Right. And so for those of you who have studied abroad, you also know that there's like a curve. There's like this honeymoon period, or anybody who's moved to a new place or started a new job, there's a honeymoon period where everything is wonderful and coming up roses, and you were just so happy. And then reality sets in and you really miss people, and then you settle in, and then you know, when you're on a semester abroad or something, then it's about time for you to go home. Whereas here, this is our home. And so I'd say that, you know, this particularly as people have started contacting us more about moving abroad, moving abroad, there are things that yes, um, would be taken care of, or that would would be quote unquote salt or changed. It's a change in circumstance. It's not a um everything's perfect, everything's coming up roses type of situation. But it does change your circumstance. And what you do with that change of circumstance, I think determines on if you're happy and you succeed in rebuilding or doing a different life or not. I mean, think about it. So politically, I mean, there's still the ultra-right in Portugal, the ultra-right in Europe. I mean, they got demolished in the last uh election, which was great. Um, but I have to say that it still exists. Um, you know, war, I mean, when you're talking about like war with Ukraine and all of these things, the EU is, I mean, it's a whole different system. Um, and what does that look like? Uh and how does it work? Um, we're still learning those things. I mean, it is very different operating system than what you would think of with um, you know, the different entities and things in the United States versus state versus federal versus I mean, all of these other elements. Knowing where to go when you have a problem in a new country, because you've never had that problem there before, and you've never seen that problem being solved and modeled in front of you, you you don't know what to do. So you suddenly become like learning everything again, right? I mean, even where to buy certain things, we had no idea. Do you remember? We would just like randomly ask people, like, where do you get this? Like, how does this actually work? And you feel like I'm asking things that a two-year-old would know. You know? I mean, think about think about some of the problems. You know, healthcare. We could talk about health care. It is not cheap, it is regulated and is definitely more affordable. But for a Portuguese salary, it is still not cheap, right? Public health system, there still aren't spaces. We're still on a waiting list for a public health doctor. So we use the private system, and we're lucky to be able to do that. And private system is more affordable than it was for us in our regular everyday system in the US. Um, I'd say that that's a different change, but it is a different system, right? Um, and you all even are negotiating a new type of insurance system, and how does that work? So everything you have to remember, everything starts from scratch. Like everything. I mean, think about what what are some of the problems that that we had, and that we were just like, oh almost from day one we had school. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

We had getting all the utilities and stuff hooked up that required our landlord. Well, it didn't require him, but he was kind enough to do it because if he didn't help us with that, it would have taken us for never know what to do.

SPEAKER_02 4:39

It would have taken us forever to get it done because it's a different system. Yeah. I mean, and and with school, you know, how easily the transition is and how easily the enrollment is to school also depends on if Portugal has a legal agreement and understanding of how to treat students from your country. And that's not true for every country. So we had an easier time, even than some of our Canadian friends, you know, in getting student our our students um integrated and put into the system. And, you know, it is a different culture of education, so there's that piece, but just enrollment was so much easier um for us than it is for a lot of people from other countries. So I mean, that that's crazy. And when I think about I don't know, when I think about problems, you still I still feel like we work a ton. You know, we talk about how like we worked all the time and burnout and all of these things. Um and so I feel like we still work a lot, but we do we are able to at the moment make sure we have more work-life balance. And I think part of that is cultural because things are expected to turn off and you're expected to not even though we try and keep you from logging in and answering emails on holidays, it technically fails miserably. Um, but you're expected to not do those things. So that's good. But then you also have a whole identity change on top of everything else. I mean, think about how your identity changed and my identity changed in this move. You know, you went from just business owner to also business owner slash employer slash breadwinner.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

That was a lot, and and we were at a point where the business was starting to grow, but hadn't grown to the point where it is now.

SPEAKER_01 6:40

It never would have reached that point in the US.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

No, because we didn't have the time dedicated to it, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Well, and health insurance, which of course is still a cost here, but not thirty thousand dollars or whatever just for health insurance.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

You you don't, and this is one of the things that culturally I think solved a lot for us. And you don't get a job just to ensure that you have health insurance, and if you get sick, you can be taken care of. That is a huge thing. So you can, I feel like you have more freedom to be entrepreneurial because of that, in my interpretation of things. Other people can argue in the comments. Um, but I went through an entire identity crisis, in addition to dealing with burnout, because I have prided myself on being an independent woman and bringing my own money, and you are not gonna be dependent on a man for anything, you know, all the things my mom tried to put it and still in me, and then suddenly I am no longer a professor, I am no longer an advisor, I am no longer employed outside of the house. I'm trying to figure out what you want me to do, but you're not used to working with another person really either. And so negotiating that whole thing was really hard. And then trying to figure out how how that identity works and what does that mean? Who is Tracy? I'm still trying to figure that out. So you get a whole different other slew of problems. I don't know. I think you know who Jason is. I'm still in the identity of who the hell is Tracy. Like, what does that tell you? You know, but yeah, it just you're trading one for a different thing. Well, think about it. Okay, so I can tell you that we're safe on the streets, and we don't have to worry about sending our children to school and that they're not gonna come home every day. And I don't have to worry when I go to work and working with students that there will be some level of violence or something. And so I don't have that. There's not physical fighting, there's none of those things in the places where I am and where I'm working, and there is no there are no guns in this in the sense of the same amount. Do you see those things happen? Yes, and then it like randomly once and it makes inter it makes international news of what the heck happened here. Um but I'd say that's huge. Safety is a huge thing, and Portugal is a safer ranked country, just in looking at the country rankings.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Someone in the Algarve got shot and killed with a shotgun recently, I think.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

People are like huge news.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Whereas in the US, it wouldn't even make it. It might not even make local news.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

I don't think it makes the feed. I know, because it was just random. It was like a hunting-shooting accident type of thing. You know, I mean, so there are those elements, I'd say. So safety number one, like that's huge. Healthcare, definitely more affordable and or regulated, and so that makes it easier. But also, I personally feel for me, healthcare has been real and infinitely better. Um, and I've been able to focus on my health more, as you might be able to tell. I am more of who I was before and work on my weight and all of these things. And I know for a fact that would not have happened in the same way in the United States. Um, because it would be a prohibitive cost for us. We we would not have been able to make that happen. So I think there is there are those pieces. Um you know, gas, electricity, all of those things, quite frankly, are expensive. You know, so you have to know that. Like it's expensive. Like to heat our house, just keep it at like a normal 68 degrees in the coldest parts of winter. Where I mean it was 500 one, like in the coldest month, 500 euro, euros, not even dollars, you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Yeah, I don't think you're gonna save a lot of money moving to most places.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

There may be a few you know, Central American countries. Maybe I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

I think it's a trade-off, right? Don't you think?

SPEAKER_01 10:55

But it's also like, do you want to live there? And what sort of I think if you didn't need internet access, like maybe then, yeah, you you're not gonna anywhere in Europe, that's not true. Croatia and places like that, you could save a lot of money, but um for now, but that's changing. Well, and I I talked to someone recently who lived there for a few years and they couldn't take it. Like they didn't they liked the charm and everything, but it's like they lived in a town of a thousand people, and I don't know. They yeah, they had to get out to some place where more was happening.

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Well, and I think that's the other piece of it. Choosing where you live um is part of that. So and it it does depend on your phase of life, quite frankly. Um, and where you are and what you're looking for, but you are trading one thing for another. Like I would love to tell you that yeah, the grass the grass is greener. The grass is greener in some ways, and in some ways it's a lot more difficult. There's a lot of bureaucracy and it takes a long time, and it is a slow moving process, it is not a snap your fingers kind of thing, and you can't come in as an entitled person who's the customer is always right kind of person and expect to move the ball at all. And as a matter of fact, you just stopped the ball and pushed yourself back like six, seven months. So there's that, you know. So, and not knowing the cultural rules of how to act and what's expected, then layer into all of the other problems you might find. Like, what does that mean?

SPEAKER_01 12:33

Yeah, so I think the bottom line, whatever your motivation is for wanting to move, for us it was just reaching the end of our rope with our careers, and as we've said before, we needed a drastic change, a change of environment, and doing something that had been on our list for a long time of doing when we were retired, yeah, and just deciding let's do it now, or maybe you're moving for political reasons, or you just want to do something different, it's not gonna fix all of that. Uh, wherever you go, there's gonna be something that's I guess kind of analogous or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 13:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

Um and there's gonna be work that you have. I think that's maybe the biggest thing is there's gonna be work that you have to put in. It's not just move and suddenly everything's great.

SPEAKER_02 13:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

It could be great. I think that we have things pretty good here, but we've had to work at it too.

SPEAKER_02 13:41

You have to go through the strife, and strife happens anywhere. Like it it is about resiliency and overcoming those things, and you have to want it. And the thing that we see people who that we have witnessed people get to the point where they just can't do it anymore. It's just too hard to keep fighting through it. Um, and they just go, forget it, I'm going back because I can't fight through this every day. Um and and I I think that um I I respect that. I mean, you get you've got to know your limit. And we see people who move back because um uh their family life circumstances have changed or you know, their parents need them, or any of those types of things. Um, and so I I see that and I respect that and I get that, but again, like you you are choosing your you're you're not you're trading one thing for another, you know, you just need to remember that that yes, these things will change, but they're gonna be a whole other additional circumstances you're gonna get to deal with. Um, and they're not equal, and they're not solved in the same ways, you know. I think that's a big thing. You have to go with that ambiguity and and man, do you have to be determined? Um yeah. Don't take no for an answer in the sense of quit telling yourself that you can't do it and just keep trying. Um, and showing up and and people will will help you along the way, but and you've got to do a lot of emotional and mental work yourself too.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

Yeah. Wow. All right, join us again next time on As the Dinason's Turn.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

You've been listening to As the Dinoson's Turn, a podcast presented by Dinoson Media Ventures. Don't forget to like and subscribe and catch us again next time for another episode.